On a very personal note.... my bestie is leaving me for the great cornfields of Iowa. That's right, she is heading back home where life is much simpler. It's a land full of unending parking spots, a place where you don't need a permit to own a car, or a dog for that matter. You can see the stars at night. It's a place where you aren't fighting over what you think are limited resources like success and money, or even to be heard [because you feel like your voice is being drowned out by the six million other people who just want to be noticed]. When I think of Iowa, I think about freedom. It's appealing, and I don't blame her for wanting to move back.
I think it's the hippie in me that has become disenchanted by my time spent here in the city. I miss things like having a garden; I'm surrounded by concrete. The most torturous thing for me is to look out my little window and see that my neighbor has enclosed a vast jungle for their own private amusement. It's like their little secret, and I'm annoyed by it.
Another part of me wants a cottage out in the middle of nowhere so badly that I can hardly stand it. I have designed this little cottage over and over in my head. It's a green cottage, obviously, (hippie, you know) and it sits on a large semi-wooded acreage. I have neighbors, but they live far enough way so that can't see me taking a shower in my "outside shower room". I have way too much free time.
I'm jealous of my bff, insanely jealous. I'm awfully sad too. It's gonna be ouchy when she finally packs up her belongings and drives away in the Honda. Everyone is already panicking for me, and asking me "what are you going to do?" (since we have been pretty un-separable). My answer, is of course, I'll be fine. These last few years I've learned some valuable (and often harsh) lessons in non-attachment. Not in the cold-hearted sense, but in the sense that I know nothing lasts forever. I've learned relationships with anyone or anything always end, always. People move on whether through choice or not, and your life is replaced with others who do the same. It's actually quite relieving to realize this. It never lessens the pain, however, but it makes it much more tolerable.
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