My niece, Hunter, went hunting with my Dad over Thanksgiving break, living up to her given name. She was excited about it, couldn't wait for her first kill, a pheasant, who gave up it's life in a small cornfield outside of my Dad's acreage so that she could have the taste of her hunt. She never ceases to amaze me, a ten year old little girl, who has an insatiable curiosity about nearly everything.
Hunter has always been like me, but slightly more edgy and definitely more assertive. She puts on plays, she instructs the actors, she has a massive amount of journals, she is an avid reader, she is artistic, she is a tomboy, she is a girly girl, she is easily embarrassed, she is a prankster, she is funny, she loves popcorn, she is independent, she doesn't understand authority, she is a "social butterfly"... all traits that I share.
There is a slight difference in our personalities; she is more defiant and more assertive than I ever was. She has always been strong willed. The kind of child that never wanted anything to do with affection, while I longed for it. She never wanted to be held or cuddled, would find herself restless on my lap, as a baby. To entice her to stay, to keep her from crying, I would lay her across my legs and play peek-a-boo or pretend that I was going to eat her small feet. She would laugh so hard, that little tiny screams burst from her little lungs. I could do this for hours and would never tire of hearing her giggle.
I'm watching her grow so quickly, and it sounds so cliche, but you really understand how time moves by watching a child, who you once cradled in your arms, become a young girl who hunts with her father and grandfather. It scares me, and not because I become aware of my own mortality, but because I am aware of the initiations that life will require her to endure.
I wish she could stay a child forever, be ten years old for an eternity. As an adult, as the Aunt, the unconditional provider of love, I want to protect her. I want her to stay curious about life, to read, to go on hunting and fishing trips with her Grandpa. I want her to tease boys endlessly and to never get her heart broken. I want her to think of her little brother as her buddy, and to nurture that relationship. I want her to enjoy the limited time she has with her grandparents and develop deep loving memories of them. I want her to continue to have her own goofy sense of style and cling to her own identity, her own personality. I want her to have a strong sense of who she is, I want her to remain defiant. I want her to remain fearless in adulthood.
If there is one thing I wish for her, more than anything, it is to just be happy. I had a dream at 20, about my Grandpa who recently had passed away. This dream occurred during a very difficult point in my life. Standing in a turquoise blue sweater and khaki pants, while smiling, he simply said, "don't take life so seriously, it will be over before you know it". I want Hunter to realize the same thing, enjoy it for everything that it is and not to take every moment, every second, too seriously. Life is ephemeral, it is fleeting, and it moves quickly, enjoy it while it lasts.