Well known fact about me, I don't tighten or shut lids on anything. I have a compulsive fear that I will not be able get lids off if they are shut tight. It's a serious OCD thing. It drives people crazy.
Another fear, I have a serious frog/toad phobia. My family thinks this is funny. They use this to their advantage. For example... hey, let me put this dead toad underneath this garden shovel and then yell at my daughter for not helping her Mom weed the garden so she feels incredibly guilty and picks up said shovel only to find a warted and large toad carcass lying underneath. We'll watch her scream and cry a little, but then we'll all laugh at her expense. If you wonder where my dark sense of humor comes from, you will find it lying in the genes that my Dad distributed to me twenty some years ago.
A little known fact about me, that even my closest friends don't know.... I can ride horses. I know, it's kind of lame, but I keep the country girl part of me a deep dark secret. Funny thing about this, my Dad doesn't know that I hate riding horses. He stuck me on my first horse at 3, I loved it. I was fearless at 9, while racing my farm boy buddies and riding bareback in the pastures. I was bucked off at 15, watched my Dad get kicked in the leg and decided I hate all things horse related.
To humor my dear old Dad, I ride when I go home. Before I get on, me and my 5 ton horse buddy have a little come to Jesus moment. We look each other in the eye and get a few things straight, which basically means, I will kick the shit out of you with the heals of my boots if you think for a second you are in charge. Now, I'm all animal activist and all about not hurting the creatures, but if you are a 115 lb girl getting on an equestrian killing machine, you will feel no qualms about wanting to dig spurs in the rib cage, kidneys, butt of a large animal.
Here's a little how this goes... Out of our three horses, I pick the most mild. This would be "Pet". Yes, his name is Pet, no he is not friendly towards adults, but he is good with children and I am small. He gets confused. Pet is a biter, so you have to watch your back, literally. Once Pet is saddled and ready to go, I hold the reins real tight and look deep into those cold dark black evil eyes of his and whisper in his ears, "You buck me off, I will kill you". I can see that he knows I mean business. Really, again, hurting this monster is no problem for me.
So, I get on and our ride goes like this... Nice little steady pace. Suddenly, I feel a little confident, so I pick it up a little. We start to trot, then we go to a steady run. Then, oh my god, shiny objects! Pet loses all focus on reality, sees fields of grass and barrels up the steepest hill he can find. So I get control, do some forceful kicking and we are back to the steady walk.
This repeats its self over and over again, until I wonder what the real pleasure in riding horses is? I end up walking silly for three days, my ass hurts, I feel smelly, my dignity is nearly destroyed by an over sized beast. I don't get it.
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