My ex boyfriend cut his hair short, really short. It's absolutely adorable. Why didn't he keep it that way when we were dating? Oh, because I used to obsess about his shaggy cut, and his "I can't keep my hands off the softness" hair. So since we've been over, officially a year this month, he's become this guy I don't recognize. Aside from new haircuts, he's been doing triathlons. His body looks amazing. He's been dressing better, less college T's more distressed band logo t-shirts and popped collars. Also, the other day he told me what ingredients go into Pad Thai. When did he ever cook? When did he start eating Thai food? Did I change him into the guy I always wanted, only to get dumped for the girl he always wanted?

I read this quote the other day about how if you can still maintain a friendship with your ex, you were either never really in love or are in denial that you are out of it. I'm not sure which one it is in relation to me. I really cannot understand how one day you can love and be intimate with someone and the next you are supposed to cut them out of your life cold-turkey. My life doesn't function that way; even if he did basically rip my heart out of my chest and proceeded to stomp on it. So, I maintain a superficial friendship with him. You know the kind. One where I pretend to be his bestie; but, don't reveal anything about my life. One where I hide my goals, my current fling, this blog. In addition, I hide how I cried every night for the first six months after he walked away and fell in love with her. The girl that shared his love for his specialty dish and "sang" in his ear. The girl that is not me.

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